In the Liminal Space
My Website Is Down
My website has been down since April 3. What started as a simple hosting platform change has turned into a graduate-level course on database migration — involving experts and disembodied chatbots from multiple sources, all of them increasingly (irritatingly?) polite and reassuring that everything will be fine with just this next set of step-by-step instructions.
Obviously, I am the problem. Unlike the unerring logic of the chatbots, I have a tendency to just hit a key or come up with my own solution — one that has proven to muddy the waters sufficiently so that I am now employing experts (located around the world!) to forensically reassemble what had been, heretofore, a reliable and predictable location in the cybersphere where you could find information about me and I could post my thoughts.
Sigh.
Starting Over
Fortunately, I am a trained psychologist. I have skill sets to help me manage my levels of anger, stress, and frustration. I have countless hours of mindfulness training to support me in returning to my center and focusing on my breathing. (I hope you are rolling your eyes and see that my tongue is firmly planted in cheek.)
I am also of a mind to use this as a moment to reflect on how this fits into the overall collapse of taken-for-granted systems that have regulated my life over the past decades — hence, the liminal space. Here’s what I am finding.
Patience/Impatience
Back in the day, when something went wrong, I knew and understood the systems well enough to find a solution or find someone who could solve the problem for me. If my car had a flat tire, I’d call AAA. If I was running a fever, I would take a couple of aspirin, and if I didn’t feel better in a couple of days, I’d call my doctor.
All these problem-solving endeavors took time and patience. I had to wait for the tow truck. I had to wait for my fever to resolve. I might have bristled at my plans being interrupted, but generally I could wait a day or two and just let things unfold.
No longer.
I Need It Now!
Now I need a fix immediately. And here’s the seductive promise of the internet– a chatbot will give me information NOW!
The only problem is, I no longer have a way of gauging the accuracy of that information. At least when the tow truck guy came, I could tell if he (it was always a “he”) was stoned or actually knew his way around a car. If my fever kept going up, even after the aspirin, I had a sense of trust with my doctor or friends who were medical professionals that I could call and get answers.
Turns out my need for reassurance outweighs my need for factual information. That’s an important insight for me.
My Current Dilemma
I now have a file folder full of step-by-step instructions from chatbots telling me how to fix my website. My website, however, is not functioning. What I want is a “real person” to hold my hand, tell me it’s going to be all right, and then go off and fix the whole thing.
If you have ever watched “This Old House” on PBS, you will know the kind of folks I am hoping will come to my rescue – experts in their fields, working together to restore a once-proud website that has now fallen into disrepair.
Unfortunately, I have yet to encounter such a team.
A Business Opportunity Awaits: Boomer Hand-Holding
Seriously, my issue is not that I am unfamiliar with technology. It is that the way I am talking about my issues does not accurately translate into either chatbot logic or Gen Z customer service agents.
I learned how to solve problems back in the 1950s. My foundation is to follow step-by-step instructions. I am not a visual learner (watch and do). I am a read it first, try it out, then figure out what I did wrong and try again.
The New Problem-Solvers
The folks on the other end of the chat (live or bots), I will hazard, are from a different generation. I suspect they learned problem-solving differently. Unless we can figure out how to connect with and understand each other, the road to the solution is going to be bumpy.
This wreaks havoc with my impatience. There are some things I am willing to wait for and there are others that raise my blood pressure, cause me to swear loudly enough to scare my cats, and result in nothing more than reinforcing my helplessness.
I know when I am in this zone because I’m clued in by the fact that “they” are not listening to me and are only parroting a script. My belief is that if “they only listened to me and understood what I was saying” they would be able to fix my problem.
If only.
Workarounds
I am at a temporary impasse with my website. So, I am taking my blog to my Substack page for the interim. You don’t have to subscribe or even follow me on Substack, but if you want to, you will find additional essays (spews?) on topics near and dear to me.
Thank you for hanging with me during this transition — and for meeting me here, in the liminal space.
Love this!!
Yes, learning how to communicate with our chosen AI platform can be challenging.
I’ve definitely been on the merry-go-round of AI answers while trying to solve a problem. I’ve learned that sometimes the best move is to stop asking, step away for a few days, and come back later for fresh guidance. Often, that works.
But there’s a bigger shift happening: I now dive into problems with a level of confidence I wouldn’t have had in the past. My expectation that I can figure things out—with my trusty AI bot by my side—is high, and often rewarded. It can even sense when I’m obviously frustrated or upset and suggest taking a break.
But honestly, there are still times when I need a human to step in and handle the job. Fiverr has been a great resource. I’ve worked with a couple of duds, but overall I’ve found many people there to be skilled, helpful, and worth the investment.
I went into solo private practice as a physician in 2024. Though I had previously been in a group practice, I never fully appreciated the folks who did credentialing, contract negotiations, and billing. For the first time in my career, I had to navigate an alpha bet soup system CAQHfor credentialing, open private business account, and become and approved physician provider with Noridian, Medicare's intermediary. I needed to reattest my certifications every 2 months on the CAQH web site. In addition, multiple insurance companies continued to request more information prior to paying for secondary claims. I many times felt like tearing out my remaining hair on my balding head. Fortunately, I had a patient private biller, who helped me walk through the above mine field.